How to Deal With a Difficult Colleague At Work
As an energy cleaner I get lots of people asking me questions about banishing negative energy when dealing with difficult people within the workplace. See by day I'm a licensed board certified nutritionist and mobile notary/loan signing agent. However, by night I perform energy cleaning within office spaces and abandon homes. My clients hire me to clean their space for many reasons including regular tidy up and disinfection office cleaning, bad season of financial luck, illness among team members, clutter that distract from productivity, and 80% of my booking relate to difficult team members due to bad management and lack of interpersonal skills.
Dealing with Difficult People at Work
My advice is always simple. What you focus on grows. In the world of personal development we believe that whatever you focus on the most you attract. Therefore you must pay close attention to what you are focusing on, thinking about a lot, dwelling on each day by complaining, whining, or worrying. That is the energy you will attract. So, when clients ask me, "Well what should I do about this difficult person I have to work with." I talk about: focusing on yourself and to stop giving your power away to the difficult people in your life.
Why Problems Start?
When we start having problems in our life most times the issues are not really about the difficult person. I've found the issues manifest when we start focus on the things we don't want to experience, don't want to happen, or when our story change. So, I ask clients what story are you telling yourself or others? In your vent sessions known as complaining to friends or gossiping about people at work what story are you telling? Nine times out of ten you are focusing on what a problem they are. You are giving difficult people all of your power by focusing on what a problem they are. Yet, you fail to realize that your life experience is always completely in your control.
How To Solve Any Problem?
All that is needed is for you to change your focus and take back your power. When you decide and take action by doing something that make you feel better or empowered you will feel amazing. Never allow anyone to unbalance your emotions or shift your mindset to focus on fear instead of faith. You must protect your vibe at all cost. You must also listen to and follow your vibe at all cost. This is what I teach my my clients in my nutrition and wellness program as a nutritionist each year in our Fall enrollment for the Soul Connection 80/20 Life Detox Program. To feel emotionally empowered you must learn how to trust yourself. To trust yourself you must get comfortable with feeling your emotions rather than suppressing them or acting like they don't exist. My clients struggle with codependency, financial stress, and emotional eating because they don't feel comfortable showing up in life as their authentic self. They have chosen to abandon their own needs to please others and seek external validation in order to feel good about themselves. But they are learning just like you how to choose themselves, love themselves, and protect, listen to, and follow their own emotional center by trusting their own vibes.
If you can relate to feeling emotional dependent on others so you can feel good about yourself then these simple tips I give to my clients can also help you at work when you are dealing with a difficult colleague.
Tip #1: Let Your Emotions Exist
First of all, it can be frustrating to have a difficult person in your life. Especially when you have to interact with them on a daily basis at work or within your family. The key here is to not shove your feeling away. Don't escape with food, alcohol, wine, gaming, extra work, excessive sex, drugs, pain medication, shopping, lottery or gambling. Whatever your choice of escape that has turned into an unhealthy habit or addiction to feel better and avoid the stress in your life.
It makes it a lot worse when you try to bury those feelings. Instead, acknowledge them and allow your emotions to exist.
Tip #2: Take Your Power Back
Second of all, you must learn how to self soothe without unhealthy habits. Instead, focus on giving yourself what you seek from others. To be seen, heard, loved, wanted, understood, respected. Validate yourself. This is especially important within the workplace because we all know management does not always show the appreciate employees deserves when helping achieve their career or business goals. You can do this by setting an intention with yourself that you’re going to focus on yourself now, not what you lack from anyone. Ask yourself, "What do I need right now? How do I want to feel?" Self care is how you take your power back. Not unhealthy habits, addictions, fear based thoughts, negative speaking, dwelling on what you lack or do not want or have. Your focus should always be on love and compassion no matter what environment you are in always express love. Miracles can not happen in a closed heart. Grace/miracles comes from God/The Universe and that means your heart must remain open and clear in order for your channel to remain open and to remain in the flow of higher frequencies. You either attract negative or positive vibrations. Period!
Tip #3: Honor Yourself
Third of all, you must honor how you feel no matter what. When my clients ask how to deal with difficult people at work and in life? I understand exactly how they feel and what they are going through because I've been there like most people who have had similar experiences in life or at work. I had that difficult coworker and family members. Especially when I was being mom shamed in my five years of being a stay at home mom. Seeing those friends and family members that I had to see every single time I visit Florida, I didn’t feel great, and I had a lot of emotions toward them build up.
So, I took time to process those feelings and really honor myself during the difficulty.
Instead of rejecting myself for feeling that way, I tried to keep being gentle with myself.
The truth is, being shamed and rejected for taking care of my kids and my choice of having four kids wasn’t easy for me. In fact, I was pretty miserable. After years of depression, anxiety, and developing an emotional binge eating disorder I finally start choosing myself. I realize, beating myself up about having difficulties with the people in my life wasn’t going to help me feel better. While I was in Atlanta struggling with suicidal thoughts they were out and about living their lives.
So, I had to learn how to be gentle with myself and tried to cope as best as I could as I learned about my own childhood trauma and food addiction. If you can relate to this, remember to honor yourself. Be compassionate toward yourself. Not every situation is easy to handle.
Tip #4: Change Focus
Finally, it’s important to try and focus on yourself the best that you can.
When I kept focusing on the women who shamed me and how THEY was the problem, I just kept giving my power over to them. It made me feel weak and powerless.
However, when I changed my focus, things slowly got easier.
Eventually, I didn’t pay them much attention at all. I actually started my emotional healing journey and built a business around energy healing and energy clearing. Teaching clients to heal from codependency and emotional eating, how to love themselves, and clear negative energy from their lives.
In the end, my clients learn just as I did with mom shaming their work relationship wasn’t really a problem for them. It's what you focus on and the story you tell others.
If you have a difficult person you have to deal with regularly, commit to focusing on yourself and what you can control. Let God handle people.
It can be frustrating to deal with a difficult person on a regular basis. But, you don’t need to give your power to them or the situation. Do your best to focus on the things you can control to overcome the situation.